Where's my Jesus high?!?!

So I’m gonna jump right into it today. I hate when I’m not on that “Jesus High.” It scares me. I think to myself, “what am I doing wrong that I can’t just sit down and focus and pray.” I don’t know about you all, but it does happen. Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I get every thing handed to me; although sometimes I think I should (which is obviously a very stupid thought at that). Lately one of my biggest struggles has been finding a church home.

Let’s face it, I do NOT live in a town with a lot of choices to choose from, and it probably doesn’t make it any easier that I’m picky. I’ve driven to several other counties trying to find the perfect place. Ideally, I’d like to move to Tennessee and go where my parents go. I don’t think there is a Sunday I attend that I don’t sing at the top of my lungs and have tears streaming down my cheeks. I feel the presence of God there. It’s an amazing and unbelievable feeling.  I’m actually a little sad because I’m going home this weekend and we actually aren’t going to church. Now is it realistic for me to move hundreds of miles just for a church home that I long for, probably not (but I guess God always works things out…)

So here, right now, I hate to say this but I’ve “settled” on a church. Gosh I hate saying that I settled on a church, that just sounds awful, but I have. I go to the more contemporary service and its fun because I get to see a lot of my YoungLife youth there. So I do look forward to Sundays where I’m in town and get to attend. However, this Sunday I was OUT OF IT. During the music I was and I just wasn’t feeling it. The strobe lights were driving me INSANE. I could not stay focused no matter what. I would say to myself, “ok Amanda, just because it’s a really fast song, that you don’t know doesn’t mean God can’t speak to you through it.” Y’all. I was trying, and trying hard. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE contemporary worship. My parent’s church is a contemporary worship church.

Finally the worship part was over and the preacher got up to talk, which I loved, learned a lot and got a lot out of that. However, I’m one of those that the worship is where I really talk to God and where I get the most out of church, so I was a bit disappointed. I even was sitting there thinking about myself and my life and questioning why am I here and why I can’t have this right now and when will that happen to me? Just random thoughts about wanting to know my future (because remember, I was born to know everything and be a psychic). So basically, Satan was putting every thought into my mind that distracted me from worship. Then the preacher went to pray, and I prayed, “Father God, I love being on the Jesus high. I know I am distracting myself from you and your words which will eventually distract me from the path you so graciously planned out for me. I just ask you now, to help me clear my head of things about tomorrow and all the stress and worries I have and have more focus on you, my heavenly creator.”

Ok so this is where it gets pretty amazing. The music to the benediction started and I felt it. You know that feeling I was talking about where I feel the presence of God. I FELT IT, and I wasn’t at my parents church. What song was playing, are you wondering. Oh one of my FAVORITES, “Jesus Paid it All.” However it was the more contemporary version. I get chills even singing that song in my head right now.

“And when before the throne
I stand in him complete
Jesus died my soul to save
My lips shall still repeat”

People, I want my lips to forever repeat the love I have for my Jesus, and the love he has for me. Isn’t that just wonderful? Yet my favorite part is the added line “Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.” Speechless. I’m just speechless. Someone loved me so much to pay MY debt, of course I will praise him.

So what did I get out of this? Besides the amazing presence of God? God reminded me of the greatest thing ever: that just because I’m not on my Jesus high doesn’t mean I was alone. He was right there with me the whole time. And again I was reminded of his wondrous love for us that he paid the ultimate price. Jesus paid it all.